Judging others..

Oh, don't some of us like to judge other people?
Now, how about when it comes to other people judging us?

Not so pleasant I would say.

Now, before I move on, here is something:

"We ourselves are no Saint, so don't expect the others to act like one."

Well, we live in a world of imperfection and hypocrite to begin with.
I myself can be a hypocrite at times and I am not ashamed to admit it.
I am not perfect and I do make mistakes at times too.

Some of us pass down judgement based on non-solid facts.
We think of ourselves as an expert when it comes to judging.
Playing the Almighty's role aren't we?

So, before some of us spread some rumors,
make sure to get our facts right or as solid as possible.

Judging others is in fact okay for me,
but try not to be a hypocrite or overdo it by spreading baseless rumors.

 That is all I guess.
Will leave the judging to you readers.

The Barrier

Sometimes we put a barrier around us to protect ourselves
from things that can potentially harm us.

And sometimes we do that in our mind as well.

Slowly but surely we tend to listen less.
And finally we stop listening..

The worse cause of this is due to pride.
We want to protect our pride so much and so dearly,
that we lose sight of what we had made;
A barrier that prevents people from reaching out to us.

I am pretty sure that pride can be good at times as it gives us confidence,
but use it excessively and we will become overconfident.

This is especially apply to men (generally).

Your greatest strength(pride) can also be your greatest weakness.

Something about freedom

Well, since today is the independence day of my country,
I would like to talk about freedom today.

Not the kind of freedom that most of us know of.

By freedom, I mean in terms of thinking.
Being able to think with an open mind is in a way a kind of freedom.
This kind of freedom cannot be taken away from you by other people except for yourself.

After-all, you are the prison of your mind.
What you lack of when it comes to not being able to understand things,
are sometimes barriers that you had placed inside your head.

In other words, it will limit your growth.
You are not suppose to put too much barriers into your mind,
it will limit your freedom to think.

Something about growing up

One speaks about responsibility,
but when a problem occurs,
finger pointing actions to shift the blame can be seen often.

Some preached about listening to others,
but yet they themselves did not do so when required.

There were also a few who talked about how problems should be
handled and dealt with.
However, some of those few chose to run a way from problems if given an option.

Respect is earned and not given.
Even so, some people lose their self-respect from ignorance.


If you want to be treated as an adult,
then you better start to think and act like one.

Else your words about you being a grown up are just pointless.
Just like a building that has been reduced to nothing.

Anyway, point being is that
it is more than it meets the eye when it comes to growing up.

Of course, we live in a world of imperfection.
Sometimes we ourselves are hypocrites.
That is why we must continue to improve ourselves from time to time.

In doubt I trust.

Well, to trust someone is not easy to begin with.
Especially with the people in the society now a days.

The question that was commonly arise was whether to trust or doubt someone?
This is indeed a very difficult question.

For me, in life, it is not only consists of black and white
but a spectrum of colors.

The things that we do, is not easily to be categories into either right or wrong.
It may be doing the right thing for the wrong reason,
or doing the wrong thing for the right reason.

This is some soft of paradox in life
that we all experienced it through our daily activity at times.

Same goes to doubt or to trust someone,
whether if it is someone close to you or someone you just knew.
You cannot always doubt someone all the time.
Neither can you always trust someone all the time.

It is not that straight forward when it comes to this kind of matter,
else a lot of marriages would have survived

It sometimes takes experience and instinct to decide whether
to trust or doubt someone in a certain situation.
You may doubt person A in situation 1
but you also may trust person A in situation 2.

Kinda reminds me of an example I told one of my friend the other day,
"Example, say you like to eat burger, but you do not eat it everyday because
sometimes you want to eat other things instead."

Point being is that, your trust on a certain person will differ in different situation.
I think even for a couple, there is a need for doubt.
To put it simple, without doubt, the couple's relationship will not grow.
I see arguments as an opportunity to know each other better actually.

Anyway, it is just my opinion.
In doubt I trust..
Feel free to criticize  it.hahax...

Multitasking?

Sorry,
I have been busy lately.
As usual I have to "multitask" during my college study hours.
Juggling between assignments, activities and my personal life.

What activities you may ask.
Well, I play chess for my college and
I am also the president for the chess club.
Recently we won two competitions,
my team got 1st place in one of those tournaments
and in the other tournament, we end up finishing with 2nd place.
I kinda stop playing chess ever since after I was 17,
only decided to start playing it again recently.

So, yea, about multitasking.
Honestly, I suck at multitasking.
Partly because men have lesser capability to multitask as to compare to women.
This is because females have a wider corpus callosum that allows them to connect their left and
right brain easily which allows them to multitask. 

And I am more of a person who works better by focusing one thing at the time.
So, how do I manage my time?
Seriously, I really focus one task at a time.
Like in one day, I will write down the tasks that I need to accomplish by the end of the day.
And those tasks are all related.
It is very important for me to maintain the "flow" while doing those tasks.

I cannot work on non-related tasks continuously
as I have the tendency to really focus on to something once I get the hang of it.
If you are someone like me, then you will probably do the same.

I don't believe in multitasking as it will affect the quality of my work.
However, if a situation arise where I have to multitask, then I will.
But quality will be compromise.

So, my advice is that try not to multitask so much,
you may end up biting more than you can chew.hahax..

Rise and fall

In life there are some ups and some downs.
I guess that is partly how life works.hahax..

So, don't give up too early.
Remember that the problems that you face maybe just the beginning.
It is too early to call it quits.

It is okay to have some failure sometimes.
After all, we are humans aren't we?
We need to make mistakes in order learn new things
as all of us still have plenty of room to grow.

So, don't worry too much.
Most important is to get back on your feet,
and finish from what you started.

I am not perfect too,
I do make mistakes and there were times where things just
go horribly wrong.hahax..

It will take some time for people to get back on their feet though.
Not easy but doable.
Juz so you know, you are not alone.=)

Speak out when u need to..

In the current modern era where social network is sort of a big hit,
people tend to understand what other people posted differently.

Hence, people tend to judge what other users had posted.
This judgement might change on how the users will be perceive by
their friends, relative, spouse and so on.

Thus, there was a need for being anonymous when posting something
via the net or social network.
I am pretty sure that deep down inside most people do not like to be judge by others.
And then end up being treated differently by others.

So, there was this website that my friends had been working on, that is

http://confessions.my/

It allows users to post what they feel or thought without letting
other people know who they are which protects them from being judge directly.
Users do not have to register to use this website.

The users details will not be request by the website,
I can rest assure you that your anonymity will be kept.

The website also provides the reactions such as "LOL", "I feel you bro" and "Cool story bro".
The writer can also add in tags into the post they wrote
such as "happy", "sad", "complain" and "love".

The website allows people to voice out instead
of keeping most of their dilemma and problems inside them.
It is a terrible feeling to keep too many things inside yourself.

Opportunity.

So, I was reading through the slides for one of my new modules.
And yes, I actually study most of the slides before the classes begins.
Always be prepared, you never know what might happen.

I stumbled upon the word opportunity in one of the slide.
The way the slide portray about 'opportunity' is that
it is something favorable, like an easy way of making money or success.

But as a chess player and a bookworm who had read a lot of books on business,
I think most opportunity in the real world are not as apparent as they may seem.

And the slides also gave some sort of illusion
that the presence of opportunity means less effort will be needed.

I am totally against this.
From my past experience struggling with my 5 assignments which I had to complete all of them within
4 days because my computer had corrupted all of my assignments.
That was a painful lesson but gave me an opportunity to improve myself.
Do note that I was working as a freelance web designer back then.
Was really stressful.

Because of that, I am now able to program software and websites fast.
I can also learn things faster than I used to.

I think hardship is important.
It goes along with opportunity.

All in all, I think opportunity requires efforts and it may not be apparent most of the time.

Is it significant enough?

As humans, we will always have our needs and wants.
Will it reach to a point that all those are enough?
I wonder...

Or is it because we are humans, so it will never be enough for us
as long as we continue living in this world.
I guess that is why death is inevitable.
Without death, our never ending needs and wants will never stop.

Based on Maslow hierarchy of needs
as can be refer from here,
the ultimate goal is to attain self-actualization.

How many of us were able to reach that level
before time catches up?

From the current trend where kids want cool devices such as smartphones,
tablets and maybe a nice car.
I think that people from my generation is sort of screw up in a way.
No offense but I'd seen a lot of their behaviors especially in college.

Not that I have anything against them.
It is just that they can be too demanding at times.

I dunno what I will have to look forward to seeing them at work.
People dun change over night.

Equality?

Equality,
just like a math equation where the value on both sides are the same.

Sadly, we humans are not equations.
Therefore we can be unpredictable sometimes.
And not one person in this world is the exactly the same as another.

That is why sometimes people tend to have conflicting
ideas and opinions.
In a way, we are all an unique individual by ourselves.

And by being unique, we were sometimes treated differently
since each of us may have different way of perceiving certain matters or events.
Thus, it is perfectly normal for an argument to spark between two individuals.
Even for a new couple or a long time married couple.

Another example would be how a boss or manager
may reward some of his or her employees differently because
some of them may have different preferences in terms of reward.
Some may see wealth as a primary source of motivation.
Others may feel that by getting more power in decision making,
they will feel more comfortable working.

Having to fight or strive for equality is a good thing.
But it can also be a bad thing if its intention is no good.
Example, an employee found out that one of his or her colleague's
pay is higher than his or hers.
Obviously this will make him or her unhappy.

You see, sometimes we humans despite knowing that each of us are different,
we still want to compare with one another to feel more superior.
That is not what I called equality.

As a conclusion,
it is difficult to apply equality on us humans,
for we are the x-factor for most events.
By x-factor, I mean being unpredictable at times.

Skepticism

Yes, I am a skeptic as well.
I like to question things.
At times, I even doubt the knowledge I have on certain niche.

Without doubt,
it will limit our ability to learn.
Because of having doubts, we can explore.

If without having to doubt,
we will close many doors of opportunities.
We will narrow down our perception on certain things.
This will tend to lead some of us into being close-minded at times.

The likelihood of being able to make a better decision is by
having to open up our minds to a bigger world of possibilities and ideas.
By seeing the bigger picture,
we will be able to see the "flow" and "pattern" of certain things.

And I think because of this mentality of mine,
I sometimes end up clashing a lot with other people.
But the good thing is that I will be able to learn a lot.
That is if I am able to keep cool and listen.hahax..

I am a human too ya know.
Have feelings, stress and all,
so at times I will become unstable as well.
Just like the rest of the human population.

And yup,
being a skeptic means that I tend to be neutral at times.
Trying not to take sides if possible.

I brought this topic up because of the recent general election
that was held in my country.
Sometimes, people who took sides end up being
blinded from certain perspectives.
It helps being open minded
as it keeps us being rational.

Commitment~

Now,
commitment is a very important thing.
Whether if you are working or in a relationship,
commitment is crucial.

Sometimes just saying that you are committed is not enough.
You need to actually do something or get things done in order to show that
you have commitment.

Why am I talking about commitment?
Because people now a days lack of commitment
as can be seen in many colleges, not just mine.

My friends from other colleges told me about how
their team members failed in performing their tasks even though some tasks were simple.

Some of those people who lack of commitment in college
may think that they need not be be committed right now.
They think that they can wait til they graduate then only
will they be committed in the things they do.

However, Rome wasn't built in a day...
You do not just become committed one day just because you feel like it.

It takes time to build up commitment,
making it into a habit.

Conversely, not having commitment most of the time
will end up turning it into a bad habit.
And worse case scenario, it will be something permanent,
as the saying goes "old habits die hard".

Commitment comes from passion.
So, find your passion and go on with it.
Do not become one of those lazy people.

The blame game

Why do people blame others for their own dismay?
Well, because it seems easier than having to be responsible for the problem.
Why endanger yourself to such problems?
Why must you put your reputation on the line?
Why not let another person to be accountable for that problem instead?

Have any of you come across situations where you end up blaming another person?
Do not be afraid to admit that you did.
Admitting that you are wrong is a good thing because
that is how you will accept your mistake and learn from it.

I did blame someone before and I was not proud of it.
I was late to meet up with my team members by 1 hour because I overslept.
I end up blaming one of my team members, saying that he send me his work late a night which causes
me to end up having lack of sleep and then waking up late.

That was bad actually,
should have just admitted that I was late without blaming him.
Anyhow, I apologized to him at some point later.
And again I will if I must.

So, many people claim to be a responsible person.
But sadly many of them are not and played the blame game.
Being responsible means to have the courage to admit your mistakes
and to clean up the mess that you had made.

Even though in a situation where you are a leader and it was your member's fault,
it is actually due to your leadership or management failure that cost it.
Being a leader is not just to give instructions and make sure the work is done.
A leader also have to be responsible enough to be accountable for if things go wrong.

If some of you actually watch "The Apprentice",
you will get what I meant.

So, lets not play the blame game.
If you are not responsible enough to take on failure,
then don't be a leader.

Okay, I said quite a lot.
Those sentences above are again based on my opinion and observation.
Feel free to be skeptical about it.hahax..

oh yea, I gave this blog a new look.
The old one looks terrible.

So, if anyone wants me to write about anything,
feel free to comment on my blog, anonymously if you want.
Or email me at kaiyuan9224@gmail.com 

Perspectives

Sometimes I fail to put myself into the other person's shoe.
Not technically the other person's shoe but
what I meant was the other person's point of view.

Often in a heated discussion, people tend to hold on
so dearly and strong to their stand that they fail to look at the other side.
This sometimes can cause them to end up being narrow minded
during a discussion.

Yes, people tend to stop thinking rationally when they get too emotional.
Like myself, I used to have a bad anger management.
So, it took me some time to control that bad behavior of mine.
And it takes effort to change.

From my recent research,
it is because when we get stress,
the limbic system which is a part of our brain which controls our emotions cuts its connection with the
neocortex that  normally performs our rational thinking.
Thus, when we get too emotional, we become unable to think rationally.

Okay, since when I start to become interested in neuropsychology?
hahax.. It started since I begin to become curious of how people think.
I normally like to observe how people will react to certain event of occurrence.


Oppss.., I side track again.
Point being is that,
In order to solve problems, we must first learn on how to control our emotions.
Do not let emotions get the better of you.

okay, its getting  late,
I need to sleep now.
Gonna get back on my feet and start studying.

Depression

It is always easy to say that you wanna let go of something.
But it is harder to actually do it.

Why?
Because we tend to keep on thinking of letting it go without having to actually
figure out the root cause of why we weren't able to let it go. 

Anyhow,
the feeling of keeping something inside you is ain't a pleasant one.
It will swell up in your heart and it will starts to feel heavy inside like a stone.
When that happens, your breathing will get heavier as well.

In a long run, it is definitely not a good practice to let it happen often.
Ppl who experience this very often are prone to get into depression.

And lets jz say depression is not a nice state of mind that any of us will like to be in.
hahax..

I do sometimes fall into that state coz of stress.
There was once I was studying while working two jobs at the same time.
Oh my.. that was tough.
Balancing all those were really a headache back then.
So, I quit 1 one of my job.

At the end, I decide to focus on my study 100%.
Well, partly because I already gain a lot of experience that I need
throughout the entire ordeal.

Hey,
life is ain't easy.
If it was, that would be too boring wouldn't it?
hahax..                
 
 

The path

Each of us have our own path to follow to begin with.

Some of us may have start of from the same point.
Some of us may end at the same point.
Some of our path might have cross one another.

But all of our paths are different,
which makes us unique.

Nobody should tell you which path to walk.
Its your path after all.

Do not be afraid to be different from others.

The choices that we had made so far

Now, I am quite certain that there is a point in life that all of us will experience to
reflect on the past decisions that we had made.

What do most of those decisions mean to you?
Are most of them full of regrets?
Given a chance, will you go back in time and change one of
those decisions?

Now think, what will your life be if you really had
made the other choice instead of the one you had actually made?
Will it make a huge difference?
Would that make you happier than your current life now?
 How certain are you that it would have made your life better?

One decision can make a lot of differences sometimes.
Even not directly, but surely.
"It has been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly's wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world" - Chaos Theory.

So, what I am saying is that each decision you make is very important,
more important than you know sometimes.
Please think carefully before making a decision.
It may change your life forever.

I am not asking you to just sit down and
regret the decisions that you had made.
It is not too late.

If one decision can make things go wrong, then sometimes
one decision is also all it takes to make things right.

I hope this serves as a motivation to most of you
out there.

The things that I had never told you

There are certain things that I had kept to myself.
I am pretty sure some of you out there did the same.
I am also sure that you all have your reasons for doing so.

We all keep secrets from one another.
That is normal for us human to do so.

After all, we all need our space(Privacy) at times.
I know that I did not update my blog for some time now,
was busy with a lot of things.
Like really busy..

And so, if someone ever keep any secrets from me,
I think it is okay,
even if it were to be someone who is close to me.
Coz I respect that since most of us should have
a valid reason for doing so.

I too had things that I don't tell other people,
most of the reason is because it was not the rite time to tell yet.
Not everyone is ready to hear certain things.
And I am not jz talking about confessions.
But also comments and opinions on certain things or people.
Well, I am still human like the rest of you alrite?haha..

okay, gtg now

Goals?

Nope, this ain't about football goals.
This is about your goal in life.
What do you want 10 years from now in your life?

I know that most of us can answer that really easily.
But is that what you really want?
Will you be satisfied after that?
Think deeper if you must.

After all, having a goal or a few goals in life,
keeps you going.
I mean, some of us have nothing much to look forward to at times.
During those times, we actually waste a lot of time doing nothing productive.

Of course some of you may argue that
we may need to take a break from life itself.
But isn't that similar to running away from problems?

Not saying that taking a break in life is bad, but do it too often
and it will become a habit.

We all need to have at least a purpose to keep us 'alive' in this world.
Else we may not even live our life at all.

Problems?

It sucks when things sometimes dun go your way.
yea, it sucks so bad that u juz wanna get it over with.
But its ain't that easy,

So, staying positive is important,
no matter what the situation is,
"Whats done was done.."
The damage is done, suck it up and live with it.

In Buddhism,
"Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional".

I quite agree on this actually.
Many times i did experience some difficulties.
I am pretty sure most of you out there did too.
To everyone, their problem is always the biggest.

Human are born to be selfish, basic behavior to ensure survival.

Because most of us thinks that our problem is the biggest, we often forget to look for the solution.
We instead keep looking at the problem as it is.
If you only see the problem from one perspective,
your understanding on it will be limited.

Hence, it would be better to look at the problem from a different angle.

Once again, it is easy said than done.
We emphasis too much on the problem itself due to our emotions at times.
We are human after all, ain't perfect, and will make mistakes from time to time.

Worse thing that can happen is to shift the blame to someone else.
In that way, we can remove ourselves from being liable to the problem.
That is a very selfish act, but sadly was often done by most of us.

 Okay, i wrote enough.
Was quite busy for the past few weeks.